Stop the Blame Game and Drop your stones.
It is a constant battle for me to engage in social media for too many reasons. More so since one of the brilliant friend and former roommate that ginger me has retired because she seemed exhausted by our penchant for distributing blames rather than taking action. I have struggled all day while going about my daily activity; not to comment, but there is a deep pain that cannot be contained.
It is worrisome to me that most of the conversations are about whom to blame. Everyone suddenly became sanctimonious, talking about what their kids would do and not do. Everyone suddenly has a template for raising perfect kids as though no damaged adults are walking this street every day.
My worry is not just about the kids involved, and I am worried about how these children will feel 5-to ten years from now when they learn and read that they are the fulcrum of the national conversation. People who think this is an individual problem rather than symptoms of a deeper societal malaise are even more disturbing.
I am not here to portion blame; because blame is broad and sufficient enough to go around everyone involved in this. I am curious about what the state is doing concerning child welfare and protection. This state is an all-encompassing term before you jump at me with the rhetoric that the family is the most fundamental unit, and parents, particularly women, need to stay at home and all the other gibberish and convoluted idealism that we parade about. What is our ideology as a nation concerning children and their welfare? are children only relevant when we need optics to boost political ambition, or are they pawn that we use to gain cheap political points? In some climes, heads would still be rolling about Chibok girls, Dapchi girls, and other children lost to our irresponsibility as a collective.
When I see the plight of the Nigerian child, it worries me to the point of depression. It is one of the reasons I seldom quarrel with my sister-mum when she turns her house into a "rehabilitation center," as I once teased her. There was no time we board a bus or any transport with school children that sister-mum would not pay their fares until I also turned it into a habit. At the same time, I constantly tell her this is a palliative to a profoundly structural and systemic problem. It would help if you saw how children are packaged like sardines into buses as school buses. In Nigeria, anyone can run a daycare.
While all the self-righteous people are telling us about bringing up your child in the way you should go, I am reminded of how one of the daughters of my PoP, who is now a remarkable entrepreneur, preacher, and fashion icon, got pregnant at 13 while her father was on the cover page of Time magazine, and her mother was preaching abstinence to young women in her church. raising a child in any capacity whether parent, teacher or family will humble you.
The long and short, it is human to err, but it is divine to edit, as someone recently told me. What rehabilitation corrective measure do we have in place for this child? What are we doing for the welfare and protection of children? It was not too long before soldiers opened fire on school children somewhere; we all know the outcome was?.
To be sure, I am not encouraging irresponsibility from any party. What I am concerned about, among others, is that while you are using her videos and life to drive content to remember, this child will read, hear and grow up to know this and what kind of adult they will be. Also, I hope that whatever conversation people are having involves judgment-free and long-term solutions.
Posted on Facebook on April 19, 2022
