Aunty Rosemary, I see you!
When I lived on one of my former campuses, I had this young child who was "obsessed" with me. Sometimes he acts like I am his runaway mother. On many occasions, he would only accept Aunty Rosemary to help with his homework. I can help with every work, but not some of the maths repackaged as quantitative reasoning that Einstein may struggle with. I know my money, but maths is my least developed capacity.
On this occasion, He has started this only Aunty Rosemary should help him with his assignment. This day was one of those busy days, and his mother knew. The mother told him every lie she could invent, but it didn't work. She told him that I traveled, and he said his mother should ask me to call on WhatsApp so that I could help him. He probably knew his mum was lying, so she insisted they come to my house, maybe I was back. The plan was that they would knock, I won't answer, and they will leave. The issue was I was in school and still needed to get home. The shuttle I took from work dropped me in front of my apartment. I sighted them and quickly hid. I hide behind a car waiting for them to come out of the building going towards their block so I can sneak into my house. He kept looking back as though he could smell my presence. His mother kept distracting him from looking everywhere; when I thought she had succeeded, I moved quickly only to hear him say, "Aunty Rosemary, I see you!"
"I see you" echo in mind a young woman whose status in society makes her vulnerable to every manipulation that turns her into a "puppet" for the attainment of other people's goal. Depending on who is telling her story, without agency and experiencing harsh treatment, she chose to "fight back" or become arrogant," and she was thrown out. She walked in the wilderness for several days, unsure of the future, and her only son was about to die. The Text(Bible) documents that a divine being pointed her to a well of water (sustenance or provision) in her agony. She named this place where she encountered God in her moment of distress "God who sees me."(El Roi) That woman you know was Hagar.
It occurs to me at a point in my journey that when others look at me; God sees me. He sees me no matter how I try to hide, like Zacheau on a tree or anything else. God sees beyond my imperfections to see possibilities; when others look, He sees. He sees what words can't express enough in prayers. God sees my struggles while the world counts my success. PoP says in that sermon that still reverberates in my mind as I type this, " they don't see the hashes." They see the beauty, no doubt. But the hashes? God sees the king who struggles with the kid in himself. The daughter who long for the hug of a father. He sees the widow wishing her husband were here even as she tries to make up for his absence with her children. He sees the student wondering if this degree is worth it with the increasing unemployment rate. Sometimes, I have asked what he will do about what he sees, but some days like this, I am just content that He sees me. I gave up the need to shalaye to anybody or anyone because God sees. One time someone said some painful things about me that I got to know, I told sister-mum, and she said, "Sebi gbogbo re ni mo ri." Sister-mum was not omniscient to know and see. What she meant was, "I am too intimate with your realities, struggles, and pain to believe that trash". So God sees.
On a lighter note, once, my PoP was put on vocal rest, and different associate pastors preached in church. One Sunday, PT talked about how we worry about if and how God sees us in all our struggles. He said we turn to society to tell us what they see when they see us instead of praying, " God, tell me what you see when you look at me." Asake ft Burnaboy "sungbalaja" answered the question in my head. Then I knew I might need to kneel at the altar again for consecration.
Don't forget God sees you!
Posted on Facebook on March 25, 2023
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