Cheering me on

On June 28, 2019, exactly three years ago, I walked across the stage to receive this award with my angel-orisa and several well-wishers doing paparazzi. What made the event memorable was not just the reward of hard work and the recognition of the value of my research. What I am most grateful for this award was how it ignited our childhood memories. People talk about sibling rivalry; I never had one with this goddess. She was my mother's daughter and my father's daughter. I was my father's daughter. I love mum, and my mum loves me, but if you give me the option of who to stay with extendedly, I will tell you it depends even though I will still choose my Dad. I love my parent equally but uniquely too. It seems to me that I have come to terms with my mum's demise, but I can't say the same for my Dad. I have not gotten over him. It was 20 years this May 2022 that Baami passed, but I can't even write a sentence without losing it.

My mum thinks I have too many preferences that she cannot bear. So when Dad traveled, and I sometimes felt lonely, my sister was my buddy even when my mum often reminded her that I was only making friends with her because my father was not around. My mother will tell her to leave me because once my father returns from his trips, I forget they exist. But my sister never listen. When my mum chose to use the opportunity of my Dad's absence to punish me for all my accumulated transgressions, my sister was always there to console me.

We did this research together. Sister-mum was my unpaid research assistant from NGOs, Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ogun and Lagos state to a political rally where I went to talk to women in political parties to the office of managers of certain celebrities this woman was there. My sister-mum is always the first to notice when I am sad and ever there to celebrate my win. I did 70% of my fieldwork with her doing at least 10 local governments in each state. under rain and sun with zero funding but personal finance.

At this event, she told me I remember how you used to win awards back then in primary school and how you took your time to walk across the stage while some people whispered: "tolotolo may yanga." We laugh at memories of growing up. I am glad she got to witness from this earthly gallery the first of the many glorious feats, accomplishments, global relevance, and impact that she will view from Heaven's viewpoint.

Some days when grief knocks me down, I imagine your face from that celestial gallery cheering me on. I hear you, and my mind flashes back to you, holding my head against your chest, saying, " Pele oko mi, gbogbo re ma ja si Ayo'. I know life will never be the same, but I will walk with grace, class, and sassy with this limb(grief) until he calls me home and I see you face2face.

Death may end life but not loyalty and relationship.

Posted on Facebook June 28, 2022.