One of us is in trouble, but all of us are in trouble.
I woke up his morning with burden and, at the same time, joy in my heart. I made a post and went to my virtual church. While in church, the App on my phone that brings me news kept alerting me about the tragedy in Nigeria, I stopped church and went online, and I saw some images that would be ingrained in my heart like many other countless tragedies. Far or near, whether you know the innocents' souls lying down in the morgue or their survivors, we will all deal with the consequences of these senseless deaths that claim lives in Nigeria.
My late mother has a principle that I may not recommend to another family, but it is worth it that we ponder on this. My mother has the rule of not only collective responsibility but also consequences. When something happens in the house, we all get to work to fix it before mum returns because no one of us is spared. Both bystanders and you who heard about it. For instance, someone would break a flower vase, and someone would point out, "ha, you are in trouble ."The offender would respond that "all of us are in trouble." When the offender says that, we usually get into solution mode on how do we fix it before mum returns. When the damage is irreparable, we all get ready for a whooping or an African therapy session that lasts 3 hours, after which the closing remarks go "abo oro ni aso fun omo inu abi toba dey inu re yo di odindin ."After that session, we would start saying to the offender, "see what you cause, abi."
What mum taught us is that when evil happens, it is not only the victim that suffers, but everyone connected directly or indirectly is impacted. Mum seemed right when I started reading about generational trauma years ago. While studies concur and clash about the transgenerational consequences of trauma, it seems helpful to think about it. Some years back, I read a report on how trauma caused some epigenetic changes in children of Holocaust survivors. Some of these children did not witness what their parents endured, which impacted their genes. Some studies have affirmed the same in black communities and groups that see the offspring of those who encounter violence, pain, dehumanization, and oppression. The truth is we are all in this together. Whether you Japa or stay behind.
I am tired of performative letters of condolences that perennially flow from all government and state-related officials and institutions with no subsequent action. The sad incident of today echoes in my mind the Mandala Christmas bombing from years ago. I don't know what to say to the heart filled with sorrow and eyes that are flowing with tears. To the body that will continue to ache with grief-induced pain that pain reliever cannot take away. I hope this country does right by every life lost to unnecessary deaths. To the heart, contemplating if they want to step into a physical church, one of the few places where they find hope and purpose, I see you. I can only hope that things get better.
From a heart that is burdened for my home country
Posted on Facebook on June 5, 2022.
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