Gbe Ito mi: Pause for thought or Bend Neck.
He sat in front of the house and smiled at me real big as I crossed the highway that separated my school from our home in KD. As I walked towards the house, his sonorous voice reverberated with one of his many songs for me. "mo wa dupe Baba se mi na lo seyi fun." Those who know me know one of my many names is oluwaseyi. I blushed big, and then he changed tunes to "Omo mi Oyo yo." I kneeled with my two legs, put my head on his lap as he said my oriki, and added my Igbomina panegyric as always. He said, "Omo awoso" as he caressed my head. I don't know how many tribes use this, but you know, in Omu-aran, we are "awoso, awoso woye." We don't just woso, (elegant and excellently curated pageantry of cultural expressivity in dress and style); we do so at the party of the indolent or lazy to remind them of the dignity of labor.
After greeting Dad, I started what my mother calls "recordu asoro ma gbe si" ( talking without pausing for thought). I told my father about all these concepts I was learning in school (especially goverment class) and all the confusion. Who did what, and who did not? Whose nails were so long and dirty on the assembly ground teachers brought a razor to help. I am trying to remember how long I spoke, with Dad occasionally probing or laughing with me. Dad was the best gist partner for any Daddy's girl. Suddenly, someone shouted, "haha, gbe ito mi." That person was one of my aunties, Aunty Lola. Aunty Lola and Mummy have been inside the house, overhearing our conversation. Aunty Lola later told me she thought I was talking alone because she did not hear Dad's voice. Dad speaks but sometimes it is his facial expression or the ways he says haha or laugh that makes talking with him fun. Aunty Lola said she was arguing with Mum that I was talking alone, but Mum insisted I was with Dad. My Aunty said, my Mum said, "It is her, and her father, Lola, don't intervene". That is how they operate". Mum said, she has always taught me to pause for thought, but that holds no value when I am with Dad.
There are a variety of reasons to pause for thought. First, to collect your thoughts or reflect on what you are saying. Second, to give others room to digest what you said or to create an lasting effect for a salient point you just made or are about to make. This last point is what my PoP calls "pregnant pause". PoP taught me the power of "a pregnant pause." It is one of the secret sauce of great speakers, comedians, entertainers and communicators. I have not fully mastered it, but I am in training.
More so, for someone like me who might speak too fast for people who listen carefully or may be slow, I am learning to pause for thought and, many times, a pregnant pause. Even Jesus, the perfect example of our faith for those of us with judeo Christian leaning, recalls that he was silent when a weighty matter like the woman caught in adultery was brought to him. In other words, he paused for thought, writing on the ground, and after a while, raised himself. In my current context, several times, I ask my students to sit with their thought for a moment or two before we proceed with our prompt or whatever we have to do.
My former BFF defines bending your neck as repentantly begging for redemption or assuming a posture of repentance when you have been assertively rude, pugilistic, or combative with words, actions, claims, or stances.
Whatever you do, always remember to pause for thought or you come and bend neck.
Ani shi oro so o.
Posted on Facebook on May 24, 2023
